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Post by Bashful on Jul 14, 2018 17:28:20 GMT -8
I can not help Tessa.
Posted by Bashful on November 10, 1959 at 11:40:40: In Reply to: Concerning Tessa::PLS read posted by Omerta on November 10, 1997 at 10:44:18:Dear Omerta,
Do you agree with me that there are no painless solutions for Tessa? I seem to see that in what you wrote, but I'm not sure that that is your conclusion.
You wrote :
I could not disagree more. If we don't treat the cause of her addiction, then she will remain addicted or move to some other self-destructive behavior. This is not a judgement of her character or whether she is a nice person or not; I have all the reasons in the world to believe that Tessa is as good a person as any of us are, but just as many of us (most?) have self-destructive tendencies, so too has Tessa.
Tessa MUST confront WHY she is using this destructive drug. It may be that the stress of working as a prostitute is too much for her, and so she uses this drug in order to cope with that stress. If this is so, then Tessa must stop working as a prostitute.
I am only speculating out loud here. To tell the truth, I do not know Tessa's situation, and it is doubtful that I can ever give her meaningful specific advice. However, I do know that I can give some very good general advice, which is that she MUST be honest with herself first, and MUST deal honestly with WHY she is using this drug. Until she can do that, neither Tessa nor any of us have a ghost of a chance in helping her.
Tessa, I am not trying to preach at you or belittle you in any way. I wish you all the best. Don't depend too much on this online forum for help, all we can do is talk at you. The real help that you seek is from your real-life friends (Sherry) and your relatives. Talk to your parents, brothers and sisters, cousins, aunts and uncles. Talk to the people that know you and love you.
There is very little that a trick like me can do to help you, Tessa. Ultimately, that help will have to come from within yourself.
I feel very pretentious right now, as though all I'm doing is spouting the obvious. Please forgive me if that is how I am coming across.
Be seeing you.
Bashful
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Post by Omerta on Jul 14, 2018 17:32:26 GMT -8
Posted by Omerta on November 10, 1997 at 11:55:56:
I n Reply to: I can not help Tessa. posted by Bashful on November 10, 1959 at 11:40:40: Yes. You are exactly right. I wanted to point out that things are not so easy. There are alot of personal factors she has to consider, and by hopping into her shoes, I hoped to make that clear.
The why part of her use, and any other hookers drug use is rather simple. It's the lifestyle. All other factors stem from there. My opinion? she needs to get out of the trade. She had a bleeding ulcer last year, and this ain't helping it any. Life in the houses is too stressful.
And you are right, all we can do is advise.True again. There is no replacement for a real flesh & blood friend by your side.
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Post by Treadhead on Jul 14, 2018 17:34:14 GMT -8
Posted by Treadhead on November 10, 1997 at 12:19:58:
In Reply to: Re: I can not help Tessa:Bashful posted by Omerta on November 10, 1997 at 11:55:56:
"True again. There is no replacement for a real flesh & blood friend by your side."
I wholeheatedly agree. I can't add anything more to that. You've spoken volumes in a single sentence.
The point that I need to get straight is where to step in and where to back off. Because of the way that I am, I have an unfortunate tendency to get overly involved and meddle.
Sometimes, the best a friend can do is listen and simply understand.
Treadhead
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Post by Tessa on Jul 14, 2018 17:35:44 GMT -8
Posted by Tessa on November 10, 1997 at 13:13:00:
In Reply to: I can not help Tessa. posted by Bashful on November 10, 1959 at 11:40:40:
I do not have any family.
Tessa
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Post by BigFan on Jul 14, 2018 17:37:31 GMT -8
Posted by BigFan on November 10, 1997 at 17:24:22:
In Reply to: Re: I can not help Tessa. posted by Tessa on November 10, 1997 at 13:13:00:
Tessa,
I don't believe that we have ever met, even though I have been to Reno and CC on several occasions in the recent past. No matter, as I will include you in my prayers.
I will be in the Reno / CC area next month, BigFan
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Post by Sidewinder on Jul 17, 2018 17:22:42 GMT -8
Some more things to think about
Posted by Sidewinder on November 10, 1997 at 22:04:50:I t sounds like Pat is trying to link tessa"s drug problem with the money she was earning as a courtesan.there are people on drugs in every ocupation. The only difference is that they earn their money in a different way to buy drugs.The bottom line is that no one can be forced to start using and likewise no one can be forced to stop using ( unless they want to).However Pat did raise some interesting questions. I know alot of the casino workers are living in the fast lane but is this true with the brothels too? Also will this have an efect on Tessa"s License to work in a brothel?Also I would be willing to bet that this is a problem that tessa had long before she worked at a brothel.I hope only the best for tessa and congratulations to Buffy for helping Tessa recognize her problem. A sincere SIDEWINDER.
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Post by Sidewinder on Jul 17, 2018 17:34:19 GMT -8
Posted by Tessa on November 10, 1997 at 23:42:40:In Reply to: Some more things to think about posted by Sidewinder on November 10, 1997 at 22:04:50: This is a true statement, also: I do not blame my childhood (what childhood?), or the fact that I have no family, or the fact that my ex-husband used my head as a punching bag for years.... as an excuse for WHY I do drugs. People do drugs, because they like to do drugs, regardless of the reasons or excuses they give.
However I do firmly believe in the existance of "enablers"....... Hardly.
Q Not true, not with this specific drug. I am a sober alcoholic (quit 3 1/2 years ago - no relaspses since then) , and ex-pot smoker (quit when I was 18), ex-coke-occasional user (stopped doing that 2 1/2 years ago) I was Clean & Sober when I arrived at the front gate of Mustang 1 in January of 1996. I didn't start until 6 or 7 months after I started working.Was it the pressure? The Lack of self-worth and esteem? Your "run of the mill" Addictive/ Self-Destructive Personality?
Who knows............... I want to sincerely Thank Each and Everyone of you who has shown me some phenominal support today. I really had no idea this would be the result of what I posted, after thinking it over and over and over for so long now.....
I'm glad I spoke the truth, to hide it or bullshit my way around the Truth is unsettling for me....... I'm not as brave as you all think..... Looking to push myself in the right direction is more like it, I assume.........
I appreciate everything that is said, and will answer all questions asked of me.....
Tessa Tesssa@Innocent.com
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Post by 49erWill on Jul 17, 2018 17:36:10 GMT -8
Posted by 49erWill on November 11, 1997 at 02:59:17:
In Reply to: Re: Some more things to think about posted by Tessa on November 10, 1997 at 23:42:40:
I hope the best for you Tessa!!!!!I have had freinds and family go through what you are now facing.Some made it others are still battling.You have been through alot and your promblems are not that much different then most.You made a big step by not hiding your addition.Get professional help that will help with not only your drug addition but also deal with the demoralizing relationships[abusive husband and others?] that destroy self-esteem.You may not have a family but lean on a freind[non drug user] for help even in the darkess time.You have battled through so much look for faith and strenght it will sustain you!!!!!
As for why people do drugs?I am not so sure that it is that they want to but there is a craving that can be so strong a drug user would even kill if need be to fill a need.Get help and you don't have to be brave all by yourself there are many avenues to draw on.A journey is one step at a time with advancess and set backs but always your goal in mind.I am not a authority but I have seen a brother fight the drug you are affected by.Take care 49erWill
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Post by GeeDub\Flyfisher on Jul 17, 2018 17:37:57 GMT -8
Posted by GeeDub on November 11, 1997 at 00:48:13:
In Reply to: Re: Some more things to think about posted by Tessa on November 10, 1997 at 23:42:40:
Tessa,
I admired you straight off because of your taciturn honesty. Both you and Buffy. Nothing has changed that. Now if GP would just let Buffy back...I guess this is cyber family type stuff. I'm feeling awful close to a lot of people tonight around these parts. I guess I'm sentimental. Oh hell...I am. You sure illicit a lot of feelings in and from a lot of us. This board is about us! Take care, honey. We got lots of it to give! A semtimental GeeDub
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