Bustlover apology
Apr 3, 2019 17:20:44 GMT -8
Post by Admin on Apr 3, 2019 17:20:44 GMT -8
Bustlover apology
bustlover (3481 posts) Mar-02, 03:08 PM (CST)
"I was wrong and am very sorry"
I want to say I am sorry to everyone, and especially certain people. I have been a very mean person and want to clear the air. I will not be around any longer, but want everyone to know that I sincerely apologize and wish you all the very best.
My first time to even visit a brothel was in December. Since then I have been to Sheri's five times and partied only once.
McKenna and other ladies have always treated me kindly.
For some reason I got caught up in a couple arguments with Sportsman, whom I have never met. I also felt that Hypnocock went out of his way to throw his barbs at me. I did not respond well. I was foolish. Most recently Sportsman posted several threads about Amanda being slammed by someone at Pahrump Homestead Partners.
In my zeal to defend the Sheri's ladies I went overboard ( again). I stuck my nose where it did not belong. I was mean to Sportsman. I was a jerk.
When McKenna and Max posted defending Sportsman, rather than me, I felt betrayed. I lashed out publicly and privately. I emailed Max and Mckenna. I still disagree with Max that it was hate mail. It was not hate mail, but it was opinionated and I did express my disappointment in strong words. I even inboxed Redd complaining about Max. Then I sank even lower and created the name AzMan. I went so far as to attack Dex and Arcticman who have been nothing but kind to me.
Right now I feel awful. I know that I have ruined any chance I might have had of continuing to visit one of my favorite places- the Valley Inn.
I have caused much damage and I apologize.
I have no justification. I have been jealous. I am envious of others. I had no reason to be so mean to Sportsman, Max, McKenna, or anyone else.
In my own insecure mind I felt that I was being neglected. I sought the approval of others and never earned the respect I so desparately craved. My reaction was immature, mean, deceitful.
I am alone on a Sunday that I had hoped I could spend in the Valley Inn, getting to know some of the Sheri's ladies better- Skylar especially. I know I cannot ever show my face again. I cannot expect anyone to forgive me. And I know that even those with hearts big enough to forgive me, they could never forget what I have done. No one could ever trust me again. I did this to myself. I have no one to blame but myself.
I do want to express my deepest apologies to :
Sportsman. You are highly respected by most on the boards and I am sorry for anything I said that has caused others to question you. we have never met. You have done nothing to me. I was jealous of you, pure and simple. You even handled yourself with class when I was being a real jerk. I apologize to you.
I hope you can believe that I really mean that, even though I know it makes no difference.
Arcticman, Dex, StevenMrFlorida, and Kauai Boy. I apologize for any words directed at you. I apologize for letting you down. I am not as bad as you must think right now. I was so looking forward to meeting you all when you come to Vegas. I think I am experiencing some emotional problems and hope that somewhere in your hearts you can forgive me.
McKenna. I am so sorry. I will miss you. I do miss you. You have always been the kindest to me. Even though you knew from the beginning that we would never party, you never let that stand in the way of being kind to me. I am sorry I betrayed you.
Max, you have every reason to despise me. I do not blame you. I am sorry. You and I never were really close. Who knows why. But you were always kind to me. I apologize from my heart. You are a very beautiful lady.
I am certain that this post is full of typos. I am trying to include a lot of thoughts and feelings and to be honest the sadness has me shedding tears. I have ruined my reputation, said mean and hateful things, and engaged in deceit and lies. None of you can know how bad, ashamed, and sad I am right now. I am not asking for pity. I believe that we make our own beds in life, and mine is now quite lonely. I miss talking. I miss the banter and comraderie. I miss the valley Inn.
I hope that this confession will now permit everyone to go on having fun and stop responding to Azman. I apologize for upsetting the board. I am so sorry for everything.
You are all good people. Sportsman is helpful to newbies, including me when I first came to the board. Dex is fun and his random thoughts made me smile. Steven has an innocense and simplicity that I envy. Arctic is a solid good guy that I think, except for my stupid actions, we have a lot in common. Kauai Boy I met, liked, and will miss. He is a class act.
There are so many others.
I wish I had gotten to know Sportsman. maybe had I reached out I would not be in the predicament I am in.
I have made this long enough. I dread hitting enter and sending off this post for I know it will be my last, orever. I will miss you all. I have for days already. This may sound silly, but you have become a part of my life. I am single/divorced, have no living family, and you all have been becoming surrogate family.
My b'day last saturday was sad and lonely but Sunday the ladies at Sheri's made it a good day.
I am sorry. To everyone, my deepest apologies. I will miss you. I wish you all the very best. You will be in my heart. I hope with time you will not hate me, and that some of you might, at least once, remember something good I once did, or said.
Goodbye to all of you very very special peple.
Steve ( Bustlover)